Day 5 - food issues rise to the surface

27. 3. 2016.

Happy Easter everyone! Or whatever is left of it, depending on your time zone :)

Turkey dish

Well, today was a 50-50 successful day. On the positive side, I didn't overeat, not by a long shot, but on the downside I didn't exercise either. If cleaning the kitchen isn't considered as exercising, of course.
Our whole family had gathered at our place, and we had turkey and all sorts of side dishes, such as green onions and radishes.

Both green onions and radishes were the types of food I was refusing to eat for the longest time. I didn't feel repelled by the look of them, but I didn't feel that I would enjoy them either. Only about ten years ago have I told myself, ok, go ahead, taste it. I can't say that I'm 100% enjoying them, because both of these are peppery on the tongue, but I am eating them, as much as I can.

There were so many meals on the table which I couldn't get myself to eat. For example, corn. I just don't like the look of it, in any combination, and my stomach cramps a little bit at the mere thought of eating it. No, I don't know why, and yes, I would love to change it. Maybe someday I will.

Mayonnaise, all kinds of salad dressings, all processed foods such as pickles are on my no-no list. Yeah, I know, that seems like a lot and weird to so many of you, but these are just some of the foods I'm extremely picky about. During the recent years, however, I had discovered that I could cheat a little bit.

For example, I am perfectly willing to eat beetroot only if it's not dressed with anything. Only if it's home-cooked. Same goes for salad. I'm not that opposed to salads, surprisingly, especially leafy greens such as crystal or rucola, but they must be completely free of all the dressings. Otherwise my stomach does that weird thing.

Cabbage is another thing which I like fresh, in its natural state, although when I tell some people that I'm eating it completely clean, they reply by: "what are you, a rabbit?" No. Just the idea of seeing cabbage swimming in liquid of oil and other salad dressings makes me want to get away from the table. 

What I'm realizing more and more is that I am some sort of a control freak when it comes to food. I need to know the exact way the food was made, and in majority of situations I need to do it myself. 
I'm not saying that I don't trust other people who cook, far from it, but I always feel anxious because their idea of the same meal is usually different to the one I'm having. 

I think it's some form of a social anxiety, and I'm finding it hard to explain that my stomach turns to the size of a raisin when seeing a salad or corn. But it does. And the only way I CAN deal with it is to cook something from scratch and eat it completely clean. 

I also don't like the idea of mixing vegetables in one bowl, salad-wise. No. Just, no. 

I am wondering how many of you out there are experiencing the same thing. Let me know down in the comments and I'll see you tomorrow.